“Am I going somewhere because I am ready for a great adventure or am I leaving because I think it would be easier than staying?” - Hannah Brencher
I’m so glad I stayed.
I love how hindsight gives us a clear vision and new perspective. Anyone who knows my personality, running to the next thing was my jam. I adopted the mindset that if it didn't make me “feel good” then I was off to the next thing. Initially, I did not realize what a poor mindset that was. It goes along what I see flying around social media, “Walk away from anything that doesn’t serve you.” That phrase makes us feel good, but it also keeps us in an elementary way of thinking.
For almost 4 years, I held two roles that were not what I thought it would be. The minute it didn't feel right, I was ready to jump ship - to the next best thing. To anything. This state of mind followed me around for a long time. I didn't even know what it meant to persevere because if I experienced one bad moment, I ruled it as it not being for me.
As I dug a little deeper, I realized that this seed was planted when I was just a little girl. I loved all things dance. I remember finishing a recital and being on a high. I just knew that dance was for me. Until another young girl in my class called me fat. Who would have known that comment would have carried me into adulthood? The minute she called me that, I quit the very thing I loved at the time.
I saw this pattern all throughout anything I tried. If It was hard, if it was painful, if I was rejected, I would mentally check out. I was looking for my escape plan.
“The staying isn't always pretty. And sometimes staying will feel like the opposite of what the world tells you to do. But I can attest, based on my own experience, that the best character attribute you will ever grow within yourself is consistency. Out of consistency grows trust. Out of trust grows loyalty. Out of loyalty comes the lifetimes. “ -Hannah Brencher
Over the past 4 years, the Lord did not allow doors I was praying for to open. When I was trying to run, HE BLOCKED IT ALL. I am so glad that God goes before us and sees our beginning from the end. Sometimes His NO is the best thing for us. The best thing for our development. I had several career doors shut, because He needed to work on my character and develop skills that I didn't know I needed. He did though. He always knows what is best.
How would we ever know what it means to persevere if we only kept things around us that worked in our favor? How would we ever know what it means to endure, if we are always running to the next best thing?
After 4 years, God finally opened up a door for me to transition in my career. I am a month into it and I am still pinching myself and equally thankful that God moved in His time. As I am getting acclimated into this new role, I now understand why nothing else worked. I was trying so hard to force myself into roles I wasn’t ready for. The crazy thing is everything that I did previously, set me up for this role. I mean EVERYTHING. What if I didn't stay? I would not have experienced the reward of endurance.
I want to encourage anyone who is looking to jump ship. Sometimes it is healthy to walk away from certain things. However, there are times when God wants us to stay PUT. To FIGHT through. To STAY. Ask Him to give you wisdom on what He might have you do. Be encouraged!
You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. - Hebrews 10:36