Own it by Destiny Oribhabor
I am the only girl out of three boys. Growing up, let’s just say I constantly got my way. I was esteemed by my family, peers and educators. I was a go-getter and I knew what I wanted. While I struggled with the normal teen insecurities here and there, I danced to the beat of my own drum. I was a bit shy as well, but I was constantly taking risks. If I heard a NO, I would keep at it until I heard a YES. In summary, I was a feisty little thing!
...then college happened.
I'll spare you the details, but I will say that no longer being under your parents covering was quite the experience. Both good and bad. I struggled, a lot. I was experiencing rejection from every angle. With friendships, men, organizations and my course-work. Performing became my default and I wanted to be what everyone wanted me to be. It opened up deep insecurities. That once free-spirited young girl turned into a young woman who thought hiding and self-protection would shield off any further pain and rejection.
It’s time to own it
About a few weeks ago, I went to a conference for women in the Dallas area. It was amazing. The speaker was someone who I have been inspired by for so many years. I was so amped to hear her live. However, God had me there for more than just to hear the speaker. If I only received the prayer at the end of the event, that would have been enough. There is nothing like divine words from above that are relayed through His people. I felt a prompting to go up for prayer and I told the woman, “honestly, I have no idea what my prayer request is. I just believe I am supposed to come up.” She took me by the hand and the rest is history.
She spoke the heart of God over me. Things that were confirmations of areas of my struggle and also sweet things God had been doing in my heart this year. She spoke some things in my ear and I have been walking differently ever since. Her words? “You need to own it.” It was confirmation that I needed to walk in confidence in who I am and how God created me. I think I was partially afraid of walking out my strengths out of fear of being too much for people. Sad, huh? Giftings, purpose, quirkiness, flaws and all. I have been owning it and loving it. Since that day the pressure has slowly fallen off. Less anxiety. More peace. Less perfectionism and being hard on myself. More Grace.
You see, since college insecurity has been my comfort. A security blanket, if you will. It has been the song I have sung for many years. God is calling me to live out my life unveiled and I am so grateful He has been exposing the lies and changing me. The thing about insecurities is that it stops us from receiving what God wants us to have. What we think is protection is actually hindering connection. What do I mean by that? Insecurities cause us to push people away out of fear of rejection. Insecurities makes us move away and not toward people. Walking in insecurity is an illusion of safety and comfort. When we walk in insecurity we block blessings and love that people in our lives long to give us. What’s the root? Not believing you are worthy enough to receive good things. That definitely is another blog for another day.
It may sound bizarre but I am so thankful for my journey and the struggle. I would not be the woman I am today. I am so proud of the woman I am and who I am becoming in the process. Through the messiness and ugliness, I’ve never felt more free. I know His love deeply.
My charge to you
This is my charge to you. Spend time this week identifying areas that you have allowed insecurities to enter in. What lies have you believed? When fear of man, opinions, accolades are your foundation you will NEVER be on solid ground. However, when God is your foundation and what He says about you becomes the truth you walk in, you come to an understanding that you can be a work in progress and a masterpiece at the SAME time.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. –Marianne Williamson
Just like the lady spoke over me, you need to own it. As you get free and embrace the woman God has called you to be, you will liberate another woman.
Cheering you on,